I was attracted to law because the concept of applying law to facts and bringing order to chaos resonated with me. Maybe that was partly because I had experienced the chaos and sense of helplessness of going through a divorce myself. I suspect my divorce experience is what propelled me into Family Law. I feel strong empathy with those going through a divorce. And, I have the feedback of my own children as to what the divorce felt like to them.

Based on my experience, I feel it is important to help clients through the divorce process in ways designed to minimize the pain and sense of helplessness, to minimize the impact of the divorce on the children, to keep costs manageable, and to give the clients a plan for going forward.

When I practiced divorce law in Minneapolis and St. Paul, Minnesota, I tried to give my clients an honest assessment of what was likely to happen if we went to court. When a client wanted something he wasn't going to get, I told him the hard truth. I refused to take unrealistic claims to court. I think a lot of divorce litigation is the result of unrealistic expectations of clients who either haven't gotten or haven't accepted the hard truth from their divorce lawyer.

Today I assist clients from around the Minneapolis-St. Paul greater metropolitan area in identifying the issues, exploring ways to resolve these issues, thinking "outside the box," choosing the least painful alternatives and moving on. I remind clients that no one wins or loses in divorce, but by staying in charge and coming up with a workable plan, everyone loses less. I remind clients that children see themselves as half mom and half dad, so that when one parent says bad thing about the other, the child hears it as bad things about himself. Finally, I remind them of some wisdom I got from my son: the party that stays angry and continues to say angry words and think angry thoughts about the other party is the one that loses. The other guy has no idea that all this negative energy is being directed at him. He goes on with his life while the angry party keeps spending all that negative energy.

I think it is healthier to look forward to tomorrow than to wallow in the muck of the past. I want to use my skills to get folks through the divorce in a way that lets them put their energies toward getting the most from the rest of their lives.

If you would like to explore Divorce Alternative Resolution ADR as an alternative to litigation, give me a call at 612-337-9003 or contact me through my website.

Start working on a future-focused solution to your Family Law issues today!